Chillys Blog

I lead, you follow.

This sentiment has led a number of women to believe its always the mans job to ask the lady to dance.

So what do you do if you never get asked to dance? or more importantly, the guys you want to dance with never ask you?

21st Century Woman

Well we live in the 21st century. A time where Women have equal rights and can do whatever they damn well please. So if you want to dance with a guy, walk up to him and ask.

Why though are women so afraid to ask Men to dance? I think its because they are afraid they might get rejected. Now while most men are used to experiencing rejection, this is not an emotion women are used to.
Women are usually the ones with the options, always being pursued and being the ones able to choose which males they want attention from. So to now flip the script and tell them – ‘Hey, you now have to chase me!’ – that dynamic does not sit well.

However Ladies, if you decide to grow a pair (pun intended) don’t let rejection stop you. I like to think on the rare occasion when a woman says no to me, its her loss not mine (and it really is). So if a guy ever says No to you, its his loss.
Plus lets be honest, it will take you a couple of more thousand rejections before you catch up with what an average male dancer has to go through.

Now what if you just cant handle rejection? Or you don’t want the guy to feel obligated to dance with you?
Well whatever your excuse, someone once told me the perfect way for a woman to ask a Man to dance. I actually cant find fault in its brilliance and therefore I am going to share it with you today.

When you spot the guy you would like to dance with, when a song comes on that you would like to dance to, Walk up to him:
Dont say “would you please dance with me?” or “would you like to dance?” because these questions can be met with a “No” or “Not right now” and this will create a strange and awkward moment for both of you.
Instead, walk up to him and say WORD FOR WORD – “I want to dance with you.”
This is an interesting way to phrase it because 1) its true and 2) its a statement and not a question.
So technically you are not asking him anything. As a Woman used to getting your way, putting this statement across can have only 1 of 2 possible outcomes:
1) he will ask you to dance or 2) he will make light of it or try and ignore your statement. But as its not a question, there can be no rejection or obligation. Viola…

That being said ladies, there are 3 things you can do to constantly improve your chances of being asked to dance:

1. Wear the right shoes. Women with hooker heels or sneakers will be avoided on the dance floor. Wearing the right shoes is a hallmark sign of a dancer.
2. Move to the beat of the music. This is helpful hint that men sometimes use to identify women who want to dance from those other women who are just watching.
3. Become a great follower. Men who can dance really well spend hundreds if not thousands of hours learning to lead. They appreciate female dancers who have spent hundreds if not thousands of hours learning to follow. If you cant follow, you have no right to complain that he does not want to lead you.

Alright ladies, I hope you found this useful and next time you are on the dance floor, I hope you indirectly ask someone to dance. 😉

Till next week,
Live – Love – Salsa!