A long time ago, there was a young man (lets call him the NICE GUY) who really, I MEAN REALLY liked this Girl (Lets call her, the HOT BABE). The more the Nice Guy got to know the Hot Babe, the more he fell for her.
But there was a problem, the Nice Guy was not sure whether the Hot Babe felt the same way as he did. So Nice Guy developed a clever idea in his head to ‘figure‘ things out. Every time when he was talking to the Babe, he would say things like – ‘You know, I really like you‘ or something equally as heart-felt. However, he still could not tell how she felt and they just seemed to stay friends.
Now, not wanting to screw things up, he decided not to be to forward and do anything like try to Kiss her. Rather, he wanted to be sure she was 100% In Love with him before he made his move. So he just kept on dropping hints. However, the more hints he dropped, the less time the Babe wanted to spend with him. Soon, she stoped replying to his text messages and even answering his phone calls.
At this point he decided, its time to have a Heart to Heart with her and express his undying affection. Her response ” You are just like a brother to me & I am not ready for a relationship right now. Its not you, its me!’ (Any of this sound familiar ladies? LOL!)
Then here comes the Kiss of Death! He decides to go all out & really show her how much she means to him. He buys her roses, A fluffy teddy-bear, writes a poem and goes to her place to express his undying love. (Cringe)
When he gets to her place, the Hot Babe walks out of the house: As she sees him, he notices for the 1st time a total look of exasperation and even anger on her face. In that instant, he realised … ‘I never stood a chance!’
And here we have another situation where the Nice Guy does not get the Hot Babe!
The Question is why?
Well about a decade ago, I researched this very same question. I wish I could take credit for figuring it out, however some other genius came up with the answer. He summed it up in 5 simple words:
ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE!
These 5 simple words explain everything that happened to the Nice Guy. Because Attraction is not a choice, it is not ‘Logical’ in the conventional sense of the word. So if a woman is not attracted to a man, all logical attempts to get her to like him (i.e. being nicer to her) will fail.
Now that being said, where do Men get the idea that being Nice will get them the Girl? Their Mothers. You see, Mum’s teach their sons to be Nice to women because, well that is the Logical thing to do. This is what makes logical sense. However, what they do not tell their sons is that this is the Kiss of Death for building attraction.
You see – Nice Guys are:
Reliable, Predictable & afflicted with the disease to please…. This is all really just a way to say Spineless & Boring! (These traits kill Attraction.)
While Bad Boys on the other hand are:
Confident, Assertive, Unpredictable, Brave, Spontaneous, e.t.c. This really just says Interesting & Challenging. (These traits build Attraction.)
So does that mean that every nice guy should become a Jerk / Asshole or Bad Boy in order to get the Girl? Well, I promised to tell you why Nice Guys never get the Girl, Not teach you how to get the Girl. So my work here is done!
Till next time…Stop being so Danm Nice!!!!
It’s all about balance… we like a strong hand, in a charming way though!
brilliant article :))
Hmmmmmm…… maybe Mr nice guy should really just go for Miss nice girl. This way we’ll have lots of nice people,who will run nice companies and pay nice salaries and contribute to nice communities etc…. and all will be well in a NICE world!!!! There is nothing wrong with uncomplicated niceness lol…..
Some younger gals want bad boys an never grow out of it and sometimes on the other hand the gal falls for the nice guy that was her friend in time because you have to kiss a couple of frogs to appreciate the prince so it never happens when he wants it but it does happen from time to time. So I agree with what you saying and also dis-agree or maybe just elaborating on what’s being said 😉 lol
“I am the shit. All the girls want me; they’re just waiting for me to make my move.”
How do you like me now ladies? Really attractive hey :p
LOL! i agree with all the ladies comments!
Your description of a nice guy is harsh lol! they’re definately not all boring and predicatable…. it’s all about balance! Just like the ladies have said…..
And the girls that want the bad guy just haven’t realised yet that being treated like a princess far out-weighs having to run after the guy that thinks he’s the shit… so it’s the girl’s loss really…. the nice guy does get the girl eventually…. they just need to stop chasing after the girl thats chasing after the other guy.
Allow me to leave a comment from Tony Clink:
“It’s not because women like ‘jerks’. Women prefer polite over rude, and attentive over distracted. The problem is the way ‘nice guys’ present these positive characteristics. In order to appear friendly and romantic, these ‘nice guys’ think they have to turn off their sexuality. They hide their desires in order not to offend, presenting an androgynous, asexual persona. The first impression they give is one of emasculation, weakness, and lack of desire. At best, they confuse the woman as to whether they even find her attractive. That’s what ‘jerks’ offer women that ‘nice guys’ don’t: they’re not afraid to be sexual.”
hmmm… well said.. 🙂
Also, to follow on that…. first impressions last right?…. so if her immediate impression is that he doesn’t find her attractive, that’s how she’ll always see the “relationsip”…. hence the “you’re like a brother to me”….. because that’s how the friendship started out and isn’t likely to change.
I’m all in favour of nice guys. They turn on their sexuality once you get to know them, good enough for me 🙂